Days to remember

Over three days this June, we held our very special Memory Days for bereaved families to celebrate, remember and talk about their child. 

As a children’s hospice charity, bereavement care and support is at the very heart of what we do, and these important days allow families an opportunity to come together in a safe environment in memory of their loved one.

Two of our days were held in Hampton at Shooting Star House, with the third, held externally at Gate Street Barn in Bramley. The days are open to bereaved families, whether their child was supported by our hospice for many years, or if they began receiving our care after their child died.

At each event families were warmly welcomed by staff and offered refreshments, gladly received given the recent heat. They then had the opportunity to explore the respective spaces, engaging with the various activities available, including adding a message for their child to the ‘wall of love’ and creating a special keepsake in memory of their child.

Our care team also create memory books, which are carefully tailored and put together to make each page reflect the child they are remembering. The books are then kept safely at both Shooting Star House and Christopher’s for families to visit and look at whenever they wish. Families could also request a personalised star for the Memory Tree at our Shooting Star House garden, or leaf for the Memory Tree at Christopher’s. The leaves and stars are engraved with their child’s name and placed on the trees.

The Ceremonies of Remembrance were led by our some of our psychosocial team, with beautiful music provided by our music therapists. Regina and Henry, performed Billie Holliday’s I’ll Be Seeing You and Lead Therapist, Marion, sang a moving rendition of Yellow by Coldplay at our Shooting Star House events, and Music Therapy Intern, Imogen, sang a beautiful rendition of You’ll be in my Heart by Phil Collins, at our Gate Street Barn event.

The service also included special readings, before families were invited to light a candle personalised with their child’s name and then invited to watch a specially created video compiled of images of their children accompanied by music, which was specially chosen by families.

Following the services, families were invited outside in the garden spaces to blow bubbles in memory of their loved one, and mingle and connect with each other and Shooting Star staff members, and simply be in the comfortable and peaceful spaces. They also could enjoy a slice of pizza or two in the sunshine.

Paul Farthing, our Chief Executive shared, “Our teams across the charity make these amazing and poignant days possible, creating the time, space and care for families to come together, speak their child’s name, share memories and feel surrounded by people who understand something of the depth of grief. Our Memory Days are among the most meaningful moments in our year, reflecting the compassion, dedication, and thoughtfulness of everyone involved. Bereavement care is central to the support we provide, helping families feel held, heard and connected for as long as they need us. We are privileged to walk alongside families in this way.”

One bereaved parent kindly shared their reflections with us of the day, illustrating the real importance of these days, “I came to the Shooting Star Memory Day and I want you to know how much it meant to me and my family. All my friends and our extended family have moved on. They want me to be happy now and not to be sad anymore. They find it sad to look at photos of my daughter who has passed. And then I came to Memory Day and you allowed me to be real. You’re not worried about my sadness or telling me not to be sad – and sometimes it feels like everyone is telling me I must be happy now. I don’t think my friends understand my pain. Thank you for the wonderful service. Seeing my daughter and her name meant everything to me. Lighting her candle with her name on was the best thing to be able to do. I cried and cried. 

“I am so grateful for Memory Day and what you make for us. It means I can go back out into the real world and be strong. You held my pain. Others are not brave enough to do this. So I thank you with everything I have for allowing this day.” 

These events are only possible thanks to your ongoing support, please consider donating today.